The topic on my mind this morning is somewhat conflicted between true self and industry. The trouble is that while I am writing up my sequences for yoga class assignments, they don’t really reflect how I would feel most comfortable teaching.

The issue in itself is about professional mannerisms, like my choice of words vs. what industry says is appropriate. While I have 100% concern for another life’s health and wellbeing I also have a REALLY hard time speaking to people without humor. I have this part of me that always manages to joke about something because I just cannot take anything THAT seriously unless it is actually serious. In those cases, I can become really firm and serious to the point where my kid would say, “I don’t like it when you use your mom voice.” I have heard this before about me in from other people too.

I have actually seen the reaction in people when I have to use my grown up voice and it cracks me up a lil’ bit when people stop what they are doing and I aint even have to yell. I am like that. But for the most part, I really like to keep things light and real.

I feel like there is supposed to be this zen’essence (I just made up that word so it’s mine, I coined it and if someone else said before me, too bad. It came to me first. lol) of soft speaking voices that gently guide your through practice and you should feel soft and flowing like leaves in the wind.

In my mind, however, I am more like, “just squeeze your ass together like you don’t want to let one slip. Clench it!” hahaha. For realz. That is how I would say things IF I didn’t feel like I have to follow along like everyone else. IDK.

Today I figure that maybe I will record and try out the way I really want to teach, post that for my friends to watch and see what they think. I love humor and feel like the “laughing Buddha” didn’t start laughing because things are serious. I feel like the Buddha started laughing because he realized that life is the cosmic joke and that all things can and should be done in a way that doesn’t harm anyone but also allows joy and laughter and an easiness to life. I strongly believe that laughter really is medicine.

Anyway. I will see how it goes. Hopefully it doesn’t take long for me to complete today’s assignment. One of the focus questions was about your ideal students and I think my ideal students would be ones that appreciate satire without thinking that I am being disrespectful to Yoga.

My heart of heats wants to teach yoga because I do believe in it’s benefits and because it has helped me through some really dark times. That in itself IS means everything to me. Now I just have to find the voice, my voice that fits most naturally with teaching. It may not be humorous after all so I will find out eventually.